Everything seems to be normal now.. Yup, in the end, i stil cant let go..

But i feel the distance there.. we are like strangers.. n here i am wondering if it is that i am too sensitive..

Its been close to a week since i saw him.. I admit i miss him alot alot.. but yet i dare not voice it out..

He's been really very busy with his work n course.. I know everyday he's tired out.. I did not complain cos its not something that both of us can control.. I myself face with a lot of stress in my work too.

I dont wan to add on to the problems cos we have yet to even sit down n talk about the recent events..

Sometimes.. Jus sometimes.. i really feel he doesnt give a shit anymore.. I was so sad when i called him ytd bcos i was feeling veri giddy on the bus, but he just "cut" mi off even before i can mention anything.. I know i cant blame him.. so i decided not to say anything..

Indeed, i felt a little bit neglected.. But nvm ! I think i should use this period for some soul searching.. Self cultivation ! Hee..

what happen when ur mind n heart have different tots?

I chose to be rational this time.. although it breaks my heart.. but i know i have to do it.. I talked to rh during lunch.. I am trying hard to be strong le.. but yet i stil cried.. n i had to hide in the toilet for some time..

I love him so much that i wanna be selfish and hold on to him forever.. But i know i am tying him down.. I was veri touched when he said he could give up his clubbing lifestyle just for mi.. but i dont wan him to change bcos of mi.. I know not many girls can stand that their other partner is so into clubbing.. For mi i find it ok.. yes sometimes i do have weird feelings cos u nv know wat might happen.. But after a while, i will be ok cos i trust him.. veri contradicting isnt it.. haiz.. I am nuts.. i dont know wat i am toking abt..

I know he dote on mi alot.. For the past week, i have been reflecting on my own personality.. I am so sick of myself.. i know my temper is getting worse.. I know he's really giving in to mi when i experience problems in my life.. To the extent that i was veri lost n sad that i wanted to give up..

I think both of us experience unhappiness in this relationship.. Sometimes i just wondering if i am too petty or demanding.. I told rh that i do not expect anything from him.. Just some respect and a basic responsibility that he can account for his own actions thats all.. But all in all, of cos we had our happy times..

Ytd i went out wif my bro's frens.. Jeff said sth that i feel is quite true.. He told mi all relationships dont come easily..

But I dont wan him to suffer bcos of mi.. I really just hope that he stays happy.. so no matter how hard it is, i will give up.. I am tired.. i can no longer be sure that i will make him happy..

I had a super bad day at work.. not only was i feeling very unstable.. I start to feel stress at work.. All the managers were pushing more and more sop for mi to complete.. n their attitude wasnt veri good.. i was pissed off.. damn pissed off that i nearly cried..

n i am irritated by a colleague of mine.. he's so blur until he made mi do double work.. i really nearly went berserk when i got to know of this.. The QA manager is a computer idiot that the files i saved for her in the floppy was all lost ! n i had to re-do it.. haiz..

seriously all these are nothing compared to how i am feeling now.. suddenly there's no one beside mi to hear mi out, to dote on mi, to feel angry for mi..

i miss him so much alreadi..

Happi birthday to my brother !!!

Yesterday i went out wif him, kengyang, dehua & jeff to celebrate his birthday.. before that, i met up wif rh, wee, beng, charlene, hc n lucas for dinner at the suntec steamboat buffet.. i know i was being a little attitude towards him.. but seriously, i realli am confused la..

after which i waited for kengyang to fetch mi to some ulu pub to meet up wif the rest.. n i surprised my bro with a birthday cake ! lol.. n then is drinking n drinking la..
n i am pissed off with a stupid guy there.. its like my bro give him a piece of the cake.. then he dont wan say dont wan la.. keep forcing mi to eat.. siao de.. i nearly wanted to scold him man.. ji dan..
in the end all of us went to kbox.. n sang our hearts out ! haha.. realli siao siao de.. all so emotional.. n my bro just ko there..

went for supper before going home.. i was alreadi veri tired n a bit seh.. cos i got bluff by the stupid jeff.. qi si wo.. nvm..

today.. is a boring day.. i dont know wat to do.. i realli feel like confronting him.. but i know i should give him some time lo.. arr.. dont know la.. fed up..

This whole week sucks for mi...

I hate going to work.. it seems that for this week.. the managers are all in their pms moods.. and all of us got scolding for no freakin reason.. ya.. i admit most of us are slacking away.. but its u ppl who didnt gave us anything to do.. why? cos u guys just dont trust others but urself..

n when things arent going ur way.. u all start to throw tanthrums saying why arent we all not helping.. why are all of us doing our own stuffs.. its a team effort.. so it cannot be accomplished by just a few persons..

I am damn pissed off.. i shoot back at her... i know i shouldnt do tt.. but its damn unreasonable.. and when i shoot back.. she has nth to say.. why? cos she herself knows it isnt our fault.. she just wans to push the blame to us cos she has nothing to show the boss..

n shall i say that u guys are so damn inefficient.. just a few documents takes days n weeks to vent thru? just a few documents takes days to write?

what did they do? they throw everything at mi.. y? cos i am the onli one who is better in writing both english and chinese.. I am not a translator lo.. if u wan a translator.. go hire one.. can u imagine how difficult is it to translate chinese chemical terms into english.. u guys are manager lo.. so managers are supposed to know it all isnt it? if u all cant even do this.. wat makes u all think i can?

I am damn fucking pissed off.. but i stil manage to complete them.. i finish all the documents within 2 days.. mind u.. its 2 days onli... n they can give mi the excuse that as managers they have alot of other impt things to settle.. ya.. impt things like e-shopping? playing msn? how impt is tt ! yet, they say all these documents are impt cos its for the gmp.. shit u ppl.. if its so urgent, why arent u guys putting everything down to do it..

after i done the documents, they just cleverly took it to present to the boss.. n if there is any error.. they would say it is kaixin who did it.. fine.. if the big boss is to come look for mi.. i will make sure all of ur deeds get published out man.. ji dan lo..

so mani irritating n hypocrite people present in this company.. n now my whole production manager wans to quit.. n christie wans to quit too.. grrrr....

*******************
other than working n working.. i am stil worried about him.. i went shopping wif charlene.. n spent a bomb man.. i tok to ronghua n wee... but i stil feel veri lost.. its like some impt part of my life is suddenly gone..

i have to admit i wasnt in my right mood this whole week.. tears could find mi at any odd timing.. even when i am super busy wif work.. they just come.. n i know charmaine is experiencing the same thing as mi.. i cant be there for her..

but i am happy that she contacted mi when she was facing problems wif pax.. so both of us ended up crying while toking abt our situation..
girl.. i hope u solve things as soon as possible k.. i am not going to advise u on wat to do.. i know u urself know wats best for u.. so if u have made up ur mind.. stick to ur decision.. i will always support u de.. =)

ytd i tok to him.. i picked up alot of courage to just pm him.. and i finalli know wat he is facing.. i wanna help him.. i wanna be there for him.. but i dont know how.. cos i dont know wat are we now.. i am veri lost.. nevertheless, i was feeling veri happy when i went to bed last night.. n yes.. i slept soundly thru the night....

Know wat i feel like doing now... I feel like disappearing from the surface of earth... He's stil angry with mi i know.. n i know he's veri unsure.. Whatever he said to mi last night stil churning around in my head... its really veri hurting..

wee wee, charlene gal n agnes thanks so much for coming all the down to look for mi... n beng for talking to mi thru the night...

it sucks to be sick at this time.. i just reached home n i can feel my temperature rising.. going to rest soon ! haiz..

whats wrong wif mi? why did i have to shoot back at him n walk out of the room? sickening...

n i made so mani ppl rushing down to look for mi.. realli sorrie..

things are not going well for us.. for mi also.. why of all times i have to be sick, causing mi to be easily frustrated..

i dont wan him to be unhappi bcos of mi.. i know i m tie-ing him down..
i think i lost the determination to fight on..

I wanna complain !!! this been one whole week since i last saw my dear... stupid army make him slog so hard that he dont have time to slp.. so shitz... -_- n next wed he so suay got duty cant go zouk wif us !!! arrr.. i really wanna complain !!! ji dan... where got so unfair de.. everything also kanna him.. zzzz

he called mi one of the nights n said he felt veri miserable cos he neglected mi and he wanna cry le.. pengz..
i was dot dot dot.. speechless.. realli veri touch that i cried myself to slp..
Cos the thing is that i did not think much as it was part of his job, n to think he felt so terrible abt the whole thing, kept apologizing..

anyway.. this past week is working n working n saving like shit.. cos i m seriously super broke., never been so broke in my life b4.. so hc n cs' present got to wait le..sorrie guys.. hee.. realli no money ar.. waiting for my pay.. muahaha.. =p

finally...

i stil wanna complain !!! idiots.....

I know its late to say it.. but i am thankful for all those who remembered my birthday in a way or other. I was shocked when elaine, beng, dill, rh, wee, cindy & spenc got mi the brown roxy shorts ! They actually got it right ! n I was so pleased that Hc, Charlene & pupu(he has a new thai name-prataraponk, muahaha) treated mi to a feast of Fish & Co.

Other than that, Cs treated mi to sushi tei !! Damn yummilicious !! n tt poor guy accompanied mi to a whole day of shopping.. Xin Ku Ni Le.. He got mi a veri veri veri veri nice adidas jacket.. Yipee n delicious Godiva Chocos..
Char n cp celebrated wif mi at taka.. Short meet up but hilarious scene.. haha.. They got mi a beach towel in a baby jumper suit (damn kawaii) and a green crutch.. Thanks alot girls !!
n Lastly, my dearest got mi my levis lady jeans !! Though there weren't any celebration cos he sick but i know he did try extra hard to get the present n put everything tog w/o mi knowing, but he failed.. Muahaha..

Anyway, all these weeks are working n working.. The moment i reach home i ko.. Its frickin tired.. n now my dear gonna work on weekends.. equal lesser time for us.. never mind la.. I actually am glad that we sort out the difference alreadi.. =)

I know i am alittle hard to please at times. I was thinking whether if i was being selfish or just plain sensitive.

I felt disappointed again. Is it because i expected too much? I dont know, i dont seems to be able to answer that myself. The same problem happened over and over again. I voiced it out before but i knew that no much attention was given to it. Am i being too petty? Because of it, i feel so insecure. I talked to my mom the other day and she questioned me, is he the one for mi? I cant answer it. I just kept quiet.

I am getting more afraid. Not because i might lose him one day anymore, but because i feel the stress present. Lotsa past disputes due to mis-communication. I opened up. I said wat i felt in a pleasing tone but what i got back was some frustrations.

Yes, i was moody the past 2 weeks due to infection i got. But my frens seems to care more. I just dont understand why. I am too tired to do anything. Happi Belated Birthday to myself. . .

A summary of the whole week?

Erm.. Let mi see.. Everyday's been working n working n working.. But something to be happy about, I changed my job ! Although the pay isnt good, but I m realli hoping that i can learn alot from the job.

Monday, Tuesday n Wednesday were my last days at LTA so i had to hand over my duties to the new girl. I think i m being really paitent ! Explained to her several times but she took a long time to understand the basic flow. Still i teached her paitently cos i wouldnt wan her to get scolding from the stupid boss..
Other than that, I am damn suay lo.. Haiz.. was down wif some infection, went to the doc and it cost 40 plus ! so ex.. The results i got wasnt good, actualli it was bad.. tsk.. Have to go back for a second time check up again.
Dear came to fetch mi after work on Wednesday ! When i know he was fetching mi, i realli couldnt wait for 6 o'clock to come soon. But well, as usual, time passes by so slowly.. Haha, he did brighten up my day though.

n Thursday's my first day at the new company ! But the plant manager's not going to be around for thurs and fri, so i was given a task to do within the 2 days. Well, the task was to draw the plan view of the whole production area. I tot it was easy at first until i went to the site, the stupid production area is damn big ! The whole damn day i was in front of the com drawing the view using Microsoft Paint lo !! Ji dan.. My shoulders and arms were aching at the end of the day. Faintz.

However, on Friday, everything's much better. After i completed the drawing, I just went around the production office to disturb the engineers. Haha, I requested them to bring mi to see the lab and explaining to mi the whole process. Later on in the afternoon, I witness them fixing up the granulation machine. But i am machiam the supervisor, using eye power. Haha..
I am so glad i went into the production team, cos the office ppl are so hostile ! Its like they have gold bars in their mouth lo, cant even smile de. and the only time they did open their mouth was gossiping abt the R&D manager, cant stand them. So i have alreadi decided, i plan to gain and learn as much as possible after a few years before jumping to a better company. Muahaha.
After work, i met up wif wee, rh and rh's bus girl. Lolx. She's realli veri friendly and nice. Cindy joined us later and hmmm, well, i dont know how to explain the situation. lolx.

Saturday; i am supposed to acc dear to work, but haha, i was slping like a pig at home. lolx. Went over to his place to help him pack bag before going to meet the rest at pasir ris for esther's chalet.
Basically, we all were entertaining ourselves la. Haha. got mi, dear, cindy, wee, rh, beng & elaine. Chatting, watching tv, drinking, fighting, etc - thats wat we did there, except for the fighting part la. Cos that involves onli mi n dear haha. Like wat rh say, we were engaged in our world fighting with each other most of the time.
After the chalet, we went bugis for lunch and acc elaine to sim lim in search of her ipod mini. Sadly she cant find anything so all of us went our separate ways. I went over to Dear's place n ko there, till he prepare to go his dinner then i went home.

n now, i am going to replenish more of my beauty slp. Tml's monday !! gotta work again.. so sian ! Haix..

HAPPI BIRTHDAY CHARMAINE !!!!

hee.. long time since i blogged. Had dinner with cp and char last night. Just a small gathering, eating, joking, crapping, updating, blah blah. lolx.
After which, i went back to dear's hse. Was so frickin tired. zzzzz

Fine's been realli fine and good for mi. Sort of have a little dispute wif dear recently, lotsa mis-communication and misunderstanding, we sort things out though. He said sth that realli touch mi alot, n took him a great deal of courage before he blurted it out to mi. Muahaha. =x

Ooo.. n next thursday i am going into a new company ! I think i am damn lucky to meet the plant manager, he's willing to train mi from scratch, he even told mi after gaining experience, i can just leave the company to go into bigger MNC. lolx. The company is also so welfare lo.. lol.. he stil help mi negiotate for a higher salary above from wat i stated.
I am kinda excited to go, cos i bet i will be learning alot alot of new stuffs. Yeay ! Wish mi Luck ! =)

Having alot of major moodswings lately, have no idea wat causes them. Why despite all, i stil feel so so so unhappy?
Its not good to have moodswings. It sux, i feel terrible.

I feel like crying.... haiz...

I have no idea wat to blog anymore...

Actually there are lotsa things that's on my mind right now, but i cant seems to be able to organise all the cluster in my brain now. The past few weeks were working and meeting up with my dear. Suddenly, i felt so guilty. I havent been spending much time with my mom. I think i should realli do that.

ooo.. Weichang's going Uk this sat, so we had a gathering last sat. But, everything went wrong, it started raining !! No doubt, i was veri veri disappointed. There's nothing i could do anyway.

I wanna get a new job !!! I totally hate my current job & due to tt, i cant seems to find any motivation to go work. Why? cos most of the time, i go n slack. What a waste of time ! I hate having nothing to do.
I kinda think that working is so boring. Or rather, is it my life thats boring. The tot of me doing the same old thing almost everyday a few years down the road leaves me feeling veri dreadful.eeekz!

Never mind about tt. Right now, i think i really need to get some organized work done in my life. Everything's fine, but i stil feel i am a mess. No proper income, so i got to get a better pay and stable job. shooox..

Boring Saturday !!!!
I am bored !!!!!
shheeez...

I am sick again.. yup, so i stayed at home n rest these two days.. My cough is getting worse. Damn sickening.

Anyway, i seriously have no idea what to say.. No, i should say i have too mani things to say that i dont know where to start from. Ok, for one, I finally met xiao ying ! lol.. actualli she wasnt wat i expected, mayb bcos of the comments rh has on her. But she's definirely a young lady ozing wif confidence. I kind of admire her for that. I felt so kiddy in front of her. Haha. She had this mature and accomplished young lady aura around her. Faintz.
mi, lucas, xiaoying & kelly went to newsroom after dinner. Boy, they really can drink lo. I sat there like a toot head, haha. every time lucas goes to the toilet or was away from us, they both was like telling mi how fine a person he is & tt it is not easy to find such a sweet and simple relationship like urs. Lolx. Yea, i kinda agree on tt. They toast to our long-lasting relationship. Tts so funni !
After which, xiaoying sent all of us home. I was the last to alight so yea, she told mi abt her steps to career success. And i guess the most important thing she told mi is that I got to have confidence in myself and i got to believe that nothing is impossible, there will be miracles.
She told mi that in order to realise the love others have for u, u must learn to love urself first. Sounds familiar? lol.. i told that to Zhen the veri night before this.

Something to be happy about, I finally got my contact lenses ! Hee. After wearing my last pair of monthly disposable lens for dont know how many months, i know its not good. and i got my lens from a new brand - Acuvue Advance. It costs mi a whooping 384 ! so, yea i am broke. But its all for a good cause, gonna take care of my eyes. I was quite skeptical when my optician recommended mi this brand, all good comments on it and she quoted that it totally feels like nothing. Took a long time to decide on it cos the price is kinda steep.
But yet, i decided to give it a try. What she told mi was obsolutely the truth ! it really feels like nothing, and its very very soft ! I am glad my money did not go down the drain. Hee.

Ok. Yesterday, i talked to Ky on the phone. U know wat, I am doubly pissed off by wat his ex did. Its not as if Ky treated her badly, in fact, i think she's so blessed that ky was once her bf. Yes, no one is perfect. But any idiot could see that his love for her was much more geniune that the rest of the other guys. Now i know why all her exs are still tangled in a mess with her. She's simply a bitch. She simply just wouldnt let go. And, she's acting childish and unreasonable, acting as though she's the only person that have the right to be angry. I am damn pissed off by her, and yet i cant do anything to help ky. Well so, ytd i gave ky a piece of my mind. I scolded him, so that hopefully, he wont let the girl make use of him.
Stupid bitch. One fine day, Just one day, u will get ur retribution from all the fooling around.
Or maybe, when u grow up and look back, u will be sad on what kind of person u used to be, and it would forever be an issue on ur regret list.

I changed my mind about changing my blog. I am too lazy for that. I guess there's nothing i can do about it. Its my blog, so if u dont like anything written here, kindly hit the small red cross on the top right hand.
All my dear frens, pls kindly have the minimal respect that watever i blog here remains here. It's all purely my tots and feelings and i chose to blog them out to ease the frustration within mi. Seriously, i see no wrong in tt. I am a human who have tots and feelings and i cant control the reaction when you all read them. As what i mentioned in one of my previous entries, all things in life are determined by the 90/10 Principle...

Now, it seems as though I am getting more out of control of my life. I have no idea wat i wanna achieve. I tend to think alot these days, not that it isnt something good, but too much thinking sure can drive people nuts.

oh.. watever..

Last weekend, i met up wif my poly classmates and sec sch frens.. I had a new haircut and so, it equals to a new mi I guess. All said i looked very different. Yup, I wanna be different. From now on, i must have a stronger personality, i must not let people climb over my head. At the same time, I must treat my loved ones for example my mom better. I must be alittle more "clever", in terms of - I should treat those whu treated mi well.. I know i kinda changed, but i hate people who take mi for granted and i am not going to be so stupid to let that happen again.

Notice that i did not quote my brother under my loved ones.. Well, simply bcos i think he doesnt give a damn about mi. The other day, his childhood fren, Kengyang came over. It suddenly dawned onto mi that Kengyang was more like a brother to mi. He even msg mi asking mi to be careful when i am going out.

20 years of blood relationship, n i did not receive any of those kind from him. Tell mi, How the heck am i supposed to feel close to him?

Never mind about that. The other day, I managed to clear things up with him. I cried alot, bcos I felt hurt by the way he handle things. And the next day, he proved to mi that he is not responsible even to account for himself. Its scary to think of it, how am i supposed to feel secure? Then again, I love him so much that I think i could never let him go..

oh.. brudders..

I am in my pesky moods right now !!! I did not go work today cos i overslept... n i am glad i did.. i just need some time alone..
this is the last post for this blog..
Sorrie ppl.. gonna go private... dont even bother come asking mi
if i wanna say i will tell u automatically..

Why did i even post a blog online.. tts cos i am lazy to get a diary..
and most of my frens knows tt not everyone in my circle of frens have the address..
Shouldnt i get a little respect when i entrust the address to my frens?

Ytd after my work, i met up wif beng, elaine, wee, rh, cindy and dill at clementi for dinner..
Just a question.. why is it always mi??
Doesnt means tt i am always smiling means tt u all can climb over my head n say wat u all wan...
Everyone has their own limits.. I just dont wan to arrive at a time where i flare from the snowballing effect.. I can go crazy.. just like wat happened betw mi n my mom..
u can say i m petty.. but u urself should know whu is more..
u can say its all a joke.. but let mi tell u this... a joke is not a joke anymore if it is always mention.. n when it goes overboard..

Why did i overslept today?
cos i slept veri late last night.. I was thinking.. I cant blog everything out.. though i wanted to.. cos i feel tt any moment i might just explode..
Waited so late for a phone call.. my eyes were so sore alreadi.. I ought to be slping rite? but yet i stil waited.. n i received it.. oh yea ! i should be happi rite?
all i heard was some high n almost seh voice..

u know wat.. i am veri disappointed.. I tot u were so diff.. Mayb i expected too much.. all i wan is just some respect at least informing mi of ur whereabouts before doing anything.. n i am not a difficult woman.. i m ok wif everything.. u should know it..

Guys will always be guys hur....

hehe.. i did a new blogskin all by myself !!!
cool hor ! Its all about mi n dear haha..

anyway i m just back from sushi!! yummilicious..
tot i wont be meeting up wif my dear for these few days le..
His stupid camp got live firing.. Ji dan.. lol..

But i stil managed to see him!! cos he finished everything early..
Haiz.. My slipper broke again.. Great rite?
Its like dont know how mani times le.. Faintz.. Had to go around looking for my shoes..
I know Dear's veri veri veri hungry le.. cos he looks veri restles.. Ops.. Sorrie wor..

Met up wif Spenc, Wee and Charlene at Funan..
Bth that Spencer.. Laugh until my stomach veri pain lo...
But dont dare say out.. if not my Dear's gonna scold mi again..
Hee..
Wah.. He realli fiercer to mi le.. Ji Dan !! lolx..
But i know he is not.. cos everytime he tries to look angry.. he is smiling in his eyes.. haha.. its so funni ! I am gonna snap it down next time ! Hehe..

//Will u love mi till the end of time?
Can i be selfish and stop the time?
So that i will always be loved by u..

lol.. taken from charlene's gal blog.. cos i think its interesting.. Muahaha.. a series of "If I were"

If I were a month I would be: erm..October!
If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday! Last day of work..
If I were a time of day I would be: Dinner time? dunno..
If I were a planet I would be: earth ba..
If I were a animal I would be: erm.. doggie! cos my dear loves dog.. so means he loves mi too! haha..
If I were a insect I would be: ee.. i dont wanna be an insect.. yucks !
If I were a direction I would be: eh? up! dont ask mi why..
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: A big comfy cotton king size bed!
If I were a historical figure I would be: dont know la.. siao..
If I were a liquid I would be: plain water
If I were a tree I would be: coconut tree ! cos if i see anyone disturb mi.. i will just drop the coconuts onto their heads ! muahaha..
If I were a flower/plant I would be: white roses.. they are beautiful (i want to be beautiful also!) haha..
If I were a kind of weather I would be: bright n sunny weather.. my Fav!
If I were a musical instrument I would be: my piano in my room..
If I were an emotion I would be: erm..the emotions of a psycho? i wan to know n understand wats in their minds haha..
If I were a color I would be: pure white..
If I were a vegetable I would be: baby tomato ! cos it looks cute!
If I were a fruit I would be: mango! my dear loves them.. haha
If I were a sound I would be: the sound of harp.. it magically can calm ppl down..
If I were an element I would be: carbon! cos it can do alot of wonders!
If I were a car I would be: Lamborghini! chio! lolx..
If I were a song I would be: Come What May.. I super love this song!
If I were a movie I would be directed by: erm.. Lucas Chan! Muahaha..
If I were a book I would be written by: Lame.. -_-
If I were a food I would be: Sushi.. Hehe..
If I were a drink I would be: Orange Juice
If I were a place I would be: Kai Xin's Paradise.. lolx..
If I were a material I would be: Silk.. Satin.. Love the feel.. =)
If I were a taste I would be: eh.. Spicy Hot ! haha..
If I were a scent I would be: Ralph Lauren Romance for Ladies..
If I were a word I would be: I.. its the most common & useful word..
If I were an object I would be: My piano..
If I were a body part I would be: The eyes !!!
If I were a facial expression I would be: My smile.. n onli my smile ! haha.. cos i love my smile (^o^)
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Sakura! she's got beautiful clothes..
If I were a shape I would be a: Star... Hee.. Beautiful..
If I were a number I would be: 2!! dont ask why.. its my fav..
If I were a toy I would be: erm.. i dont wan to be toy.. doesnt sounds nice..
If I were a brand I would be: haha.. My Brand !
If I were a country I would be: Hawaii (tts not a country rite) watever..
If I were a light I would be: Sunlight !!
If I were a somebody I would be: Noone.. I dont wan to be somebody else.. cos my dear onli loves mi n onli mi! haha..

kk.. end of the crazy n bo liao answers.. lol..

I just got something to say...

I Love My Dear so much !

Its as if some confessions.. lolx..
Kinda had some misunderstanding with him.. I made him angry.. n i know its entirely my fault.. Everything's resolve.. =)
Both of us think that there's really something wrong with mi recently.. Its as though i got split personality.. I can just be quiet suddenly..
Mayb I am just bothered by my family.. I am so glad that he is there to support mi and shower mi with all his never-ending love during this time..
After a serious tot about wat the hell is wrong with mi this morning..
I voiced out watever's on my mind the first thing when i woke up..
I am just afraid that I might take him for granted in the future..

n I realised something.. all these mths.. I have been whinning about all the mishaps in life.. Mayb its time i do something about it.. Everything is in my control..
If i want a better life and a better family, I have to work hard towards it..
n of cos i want to be a better gf for him, I got to pull myself together..

Yup ! No more whinning ! (Mayb jus an occasion of venting, tt will do)

//
Anyway, meet my boi after my work today.. Acc him to the doc.. cos my dear baobei's got rashes!! =( Veri sian to see him getting frustrated over the itchiness & i dont know wat to do..
To make things worse, I wont be able to see him and take care of him for the next 3 days.. sad.. so I made him promise that he would eat his med on time n drink lotsa water,etc.

Acc him to pack his stuffs back camp.. Stupid boi.. Play with my hair clip.. Ha.. got scolding from his mom cos he keep disturbing mi.. lolx..

Went to buy some stuffs n back home !.. zzz

// Its bcos of your love, that i start to realise myself..
n bcos of this realization, that i want to change myself..
Not for you, but for myself
bcos I want to create a beautiful future for us..